What exactly does ‘grooming’ mean? That your hair doesn’t have split ends? That your nails are all the same length? That you’ve won awards at equestrian events? Who is seriously going to notice those first two? The answer to that last question is: everyone.
Years ago, I was working in an office when the HR Director came up to me and said, “You know Belinda, you always have nice jewellery but when I see you wearing rings, it always makes me sad because your nails are always different lengths. Why is that?” Courtesy prevents me from telling you what my answer was but it struck me then as it does now. The fact that she’d felt compelled to ask me was the main thing, but the fact that she had noticed them was, perhaps, more extraordinary. But then people notice different things. Especially women, about other women. I always look at bags. My mother looks at shoes. My best friend looks at jewellery. But those are mere accessories. You can buy new accessories to make you current and look shiny, in a Girls Aloud sort of way.
But when it comes to ‘grooming’, you’re talking about the entire package. And what a David-Beckham-on-a-three-storey-high-billboard package it is too.
There was a time when I did go for regular facials, massages and manicures. This was in my twenties when I didn’t have a mortgage of course. As a writer, I don’t have to be groomed. But a close friend works in sales. Now, there’s a profession where you have to be groomed. The stakes rise to acrylic nails and hair extensions. That’s serious maintenance. Everything takes a considerable amount of time to upkeep. Not to mention the financial outlay.
Why subscribe to it? Well, for one thing, it gives women time away from work (or children if you’re insane enough to have them). One beauty editor told me she sees it as “self preservation”. Trying not to immediately envision her encased in vinegar, pickled egg style, with a National Trust sign over her, I asked her if she really thought grooming made a difference. She flashed me a pointed look and said “well, perhaps not for everyone”.
Retreating to the safety of my friends, a quick vox-pop gave some surprising replies on the meaning of grooming. “It’s about being put together,” said one. Another came up with, “isn’t that about dandruff and laddered tights?” But my personal favourite was, “it’s what you do when you don’t have a life”. And therein lies the rub. You are questioned seriously if you don’t pledge yourself to grooming and chastised if you do.
I’d like to say grooming is a dying art, but that wouldn’t be true. Young women care very much about what they look like. But they don’t seem to bother about the details anymore. There are a new set of rules. Shoes down at heel are now acceptable. An uneven fake tan is not. This doesn’t wash with the older generation of course. If your heels are falling off then you’re sloppy, or worse still, poor. It’s an immediate indicator of your ability to take care of yourself because you instantly know if someone is groomed, don’t you? Britney Spears is not, Cat Deeley is. Newsreaders have to be. Radio DJ’s don’t; in fact, it appears to be career enhancing if they’re not. And me? Well, I’m just off to get a manicure.
